“You can find unexpected strength as you wrestle between your faith and your feelings.”- Lysa TerKeurst

“God’s highest agenda is not our immediate happiness. I believe that God is much more committed to our eternal joy, our spiritual growth, and the condition of our hearts.” Craig Groeschel

How do you handle disappointment when it enters your life? We all have it, we all find that it crawls into the spaces and places we would rather it avoided- our homes, our families, our churches, our workplaces, etc. There’s no place that is safe from earthly disappointment but there are also lessons that come from those same disappointments that are needing to grow and stretch us to become better versions of ourselves.

Two books I’ve read this summer have touched on this topic and while they have had perspectives that were inherently different, I think that both perspectives are vital to have a better handle on such a vast and at times consuming topic. Lysa TerKeurst in her book “It’s not supposed to be this way” and Craig Groeschel’s “Hope in the Dark” give insight on how to manage your feelings and expectations when life takes a turn that you weren’t anticipating. Not wanting to ruin either of these for you I highly recommend that you pick these up and savor the words of wisdom you’ll absorb through their individual journeys through the valley of disappointment and discouragement. 

I read Lysa’s book first, maybe that was because I already knew how the story ended, but I found her vulnerability in discussing how being disappointed in someone else doesn’t need to destroy you. Someone else’s missteps don’t need to define you or your season of your life even if it shapes circumstances in your life. I’ve found in my own experiences that when life seems to take an overwhelming turn and adversity rears its ugly head it never stops at one “thing.” One blow after another comes until you just want to waive the white flag and hope that in your surrender you can find some solid ground to rebuild. Lysa talks about feeling pulverized by circumstances and how it was the dust of her life when she thought there was no way to find redemption that she found that dust might be the best ingredient to build a new life stronger, and more capable then the life she had before. 

In Craig’s adaptation of handling the battles of this life there wasn’t the same “happily ever after.” It was more a “to be continued” type of tale and that isn’t always the easiest to read, however, for most of us we are still in our seasons of trial or discovery. Most of us haven’t crossed the finish line into nirvana. So for me, his words were a smoothing balm to cover the developing calluses of discouragement compared to the hope that you could hang on to from Lysa’s that everything was going to be okay- even if it’s not okay right now.

I think we all need to “not be okay” we all need to see things that don’t line up with our definition of what we expect or need because we need to stay pliable. We need to be willing and able to grow and adapt as the world and our lives twist and turn around us. But we need to be willing as Lysa says to “wrestle” through what life throws our way. We need to know that as we fight our way through our faith and our circumstances that no matter the outcome (happily ever after or to be continued) we’ll be stronger on the other side. 

With that I learned from Hope in the Dark I saw that discouragement and dis-contentment in my life usually spreads when I focus on the wrong things. When I get fixated on happiness which is fickle and fleeting and take my eyes off of joy which is steadfast and transcends circumstances and situations. I want my life to be lived with a lens of joy. To see my circumstances and know that this might not be good but God is. That this might not be what I wanted or needed but God’s not done. To know that no matter what disappointment creeps into my life whether through people, circumstances, places, or things I still have a reason to rejoice. One of my favorite songs talks about consistency in praise whether on the mountain top or when you feel as if that mountain has fallen on you. I think this is how we can survive the pitfall of disappointment but finding the strength to endure from a source that is stronger than we are.  No matter how dark and now matter how bad it seems in the moment He is worthy and He is wonderful.

“High on the mountain, I will be lifting my voice.

And in the valley, I will be dancing for joy.

In every season, You are worthy.

In every moment, You’re wonderful.”

-Mountain by Bryan and Katie