A few months ago I bought my first house. It was a long, drawn out, and at times frustrating process. Every time I found “the one” someone else found it and outbid me. After the long 7.5 month process of searching I was adamant that once I moved in I was done with any “changes” in my life. I explicitly talked with my Mom about why I didn’t want a pet. I wanted to just enjoy the home that took me forever to find. I wanted to enjoy the silence and quiet that came with living by yourself. I wanted to not have to worry about keeping anything else alive.

Well in the end my Mom won out and I got a cat. Insert Gertrude. My little grumpy looking Persian kitten. I call her Trudy for short.

Trudy and I for the six weeks I’ve had her have been feeling each other out. We’ve been figuring out each other’s boundaries and what we both like and dislike. Well, to be honest, it’s more like she’s training me on what she likes and dislikes but she’s a cat…so that’s pretty normal. One thing about Trudy is that when she was rescued at four months she had never been handled so, she doesn’t like to be picked up or held. I can appreciate a healthy love for personal space as I’m very fond of my own as well.

We’ve been slowly getting to know each other’s habits and routines. She now meets me at the bottom of the stairs when I walk in the door from work. Whether because she missed me or wants something to eat I don’t know. As she’s a cat it’s probably the latter but it’s nice to walk in to see her there either way. We’ve also seemed to have broken one of her less than adorable habits of hiding kibble around my house. Having been rescued from the streets she didn’t have access to consistent food or water so from when I got her until about last week she would ferret food away in little piles I guess to reassure her that if I forgot to feed her she’d be taken care of. But who truly knows the psychology of a cat? We now have an understanding that if I leave Kibble out both upstairs and downstairs that she no longer hides little piles all over the house (or she at least found better hiding places). Our current battle of the wills takes place over my side of the bed. I’ve never had to share my bed before so even though she’s barely over 3 pounds her stubborn little self wedges herself no matter how close to the edge I get to make sure she’s on that side of the bed.

Last night after surrender that corner of the bed to her where she curled into a ball and purring put herself to sleep I woke up to an unfamiliar noise. I woke up to Trudy curled up against me fast asleep having a nightmare. Little cries escaping her tiny trembling body I scooped her up and held her until she woke up and realized where she was. This tiny seven month kitten looked up at me and while I knew she’d soon squirm out of my reach I was glad for the few moments to just sit and hold her. As someone who’s frequently had nightmares since I was little it was weird being on this side of it. Watching rather than experiencing, comforting rather than processing.

That’s when I really knew that Trudy was truly mine. That maybe we were meant to help each other as we both figured out this next chapter in our lives. While I don’t love my newfound daily task of vacuuming up Trudy’s spare kibble throughout our home I’ll do it for those few moments where I’ll get to hold her and pet her and see that she’s finally found her own place of rest.